Communication Within the Sexes: An Analysis of Different Communication Methods

The following post is my analysis of authors, Tony Kornheiser and Deborah Cameron in their works: "No Detail Is Too Small for Girls Answering a Simple Question," and "What Language Barrier?" listed respectively.  I received an A, tell me what you think!

The world revolves around human interaction and communication.  The power of language gives individuals the opportunity to express who they are, what they think, and how they feel.  It is thought that males and females have different ways of exchanging words.  It seems illogical to believe that all men and women can be categorized by the stereotypes that women are more talkative than males; however the stereotypes seem to be accurate according to many.  Feminist linguist and professor, Deborah Cameron and author and radio host, Tony Kornheiser explore the different stereotypes of men and women communication.  While Cameron refers to this claim as “the myth of Mars and Venus”, Kornheiser argues that the two sexes do not converse the same way.  Men and women experience a classic divide in communication, but Cameron disagrees.  Women are not biologically inclined to be more talkative, she claims it is a social constructed theory.

In “No Detail Is Too Small for Girls Answering a Simple Question,” Tony Kornheiser claims men and women clearly do not speak the same language.  His argument is based on his own experience raising his two children and how they interact differently.  Kornheiser suggests that women put more emphasis on details and description, where men are more concerned with the hard facts.  He explains how women accumulate and retain facts in their daily lives, “they gather information and dispense it without discrimination.  Everything counts the same” (279).  According to Kornheiser, women find it difficult to sort through details and prioritize based on importance.  He believes that women find the need to share everything that they know in order to get their point across.  What he neglects to recognize is the difference in personality.  All men do not have stern and serious characters, just as women may not necessarily be talkative and outgoing.  Kornheiser reflects on conversations he had with his son and daughter about summer camp.  His son gave him a short and sweet answer about his summer camp experience, while his daughter had a lengthy description about her stay.  Kornheiser tries to use this example as proof that his theory about communicating is valid.  The example is extremely biased since it involves his own children.  The conversations with his children could be interpreted differently by another point of view.  It is possible that Kornheiser had raised his children according to the stereotype, and as a result they live up to his expectations. 

Deborah Cameron presents five claims that promote the myth that women and men speak differently.  All assertions seem to complement Kornheiser’s theories; however, Cameron questions their validity.  The first claim, “language and communication matter more to women than to men; women talk more than men” (271) describes men as being indifferent to communication.  It is unfair to assume that men do not find communication to be important.  Without communication many people would not be successful.  Individuals from both sexes have mastered the art of communication.  The idea that women talk more than men confirms Kornheiser’s idea about the different communication levels, but it lacks interpretation and confirmation from other sources.  The second and third claims seem to contradict themselves; women have more verbal skills than men and men talk about getting things done, compared to women who only talk about making connections with people.  If women are seen as having more skills in communicating, then does this mean we hold making connections on a higher pedestal than “getting things done”?  Women are described as only talking about “people, relations and feelings,” (271) but do those topics really constitute as being better communicators?  The fourth claim is that men use language in competitive ways while women use it in cooperative ways.  This implies that women are not competitors, which is a false statement.  The last claim says, “These differences routinely lead to ‘miscommunication’ between the sexes, with each sex misinterpreting the other’s intentions.  This causes problems in contexts where men and women regularly interact…” (271). This claim coincides with Kornheiser’s “No Detail Is Too Small for Girls Answering a Simple Question”.  When he had asked his daughter how summer camp was, he did not intend on having an in-depth conversation about it.  Although he was under the impression that their conversation would be short and to the point, his daughter interpreted his question as a long conversation starter.  Kornheiser does not consider misinterpretation as a reason to why he received two different types of responses from his children.  All five claims generalize men and women and make an assumption that every individual is the same.  

The stereotypes of communication within the sexes still exist because of individuals like Tony Kornheiser who refuse to accept that not all men and women are the same.  He makes assertions like, “they [women] don’t think life is as simple as men do, and so they are fascinated by the multiplicity of choices that they see” (279).  This is such a bold statement to assume that women are distracted by the countless possibilities of the world.  Men and women live in the same world, with the same multiplicity of choices.  He does not build his credibility with facts or studies done to prove that his theory is correct.  His claim is one-sided and lacks authority.  Deborah Cameron says, “The folk-belief that women talk more than men persists because it provides a justification for an ingrained social prejudice” (277).  I agree with her statement, especially because she explores different viewpoints, studies, and theories about the language barriers.  It is unreasonable to believe that all women can be categorized under one label: talkative. Cameron insists that this belief still remains today because it upholds present ideas about our society.  Individuals find it to be politically correct to assume women communicate differently than men.  It is an unfair assumption that should not be considered the norm. 

The two articles by Tony Kornheiser and Deborah Cameron vary in theory.  Is it a coincidence that their rhetorical approach is different because one author is a male while the other is a female?  Their discourse may be different because of their occupation, education, or cultural upbringing.  All men and women should be regarded in this way.  Both sexes communicate the same way; there is just a difference in interpretation.  Kornheiser concludes that “women have more to say on everything,” (278) but does not display the evidence to prove this.  Many theories will remain about the differences in communication within the sexes, but it may be impossible to come to one consensus since it would be unfeasible to conduct a study on every man and woman in the world.  I agree with Deborah Cameron that many theories are merely myths that have lived on within our society.

Works Cited

Cameron, Deborah. "What Language Barrier?" Exploring Language. Ed. Gary       Goshgarian. 13th ed. Boston: Pearson/Longman, 2012. 269-278. Print.

Kornheiser, Tony. "No Detail Is Too Small for Girls Answering a Simple Question"           Exploring Language. Ed. Gary Goshgarian.        13th ed. Boston: Pearson/Longman,   2012. 278-279. Print.